( The average American young person spends over seven hours a day on media devices, often using multiple systems at once.

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“We don’t say, ‘they’re going to drink anyway, let’s give them a car with bigger airbags.’” The parents note that the book was actually written for college students, and refers to college-related activities like bar crawls.

(While acknowledging this, the book’s author Sara L. Mackenzie, believes it’s appropriate for high schoolers; her children read it at 13.) The book has been shelved, at least for this year. The Fremont showdown is a local skirmish in what has become a complicated and exhausting battle that schools and parents are facing across the nation. TIME reviewed the leading research on the subject as well as currently available resources to produce the information that follows, as well as specific guides to how and when to talk to kids on individual topics.

“It’s a way to say to someone, here is a thing that could destroy me, I trust that you won’t use it.” On paper, the United States is checking all the right boxes of managing teen sexual behavior.

The national pregnancy rate is at a record low and it appears teens are waiting longer to have sex, and those that are sexually active are using birth control more than previous years. has only gotten worse,” says Victor Strasburger, an adolescent medicine expert and distinguished professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine.

Or where Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” can refer to violent sexual acts in a music video viewed on the web at least 36 million times?

Or where, in a major news story, it becomes apparent that wholesome girls from teen adventure movies send naked photos.

Most sex games are safe and harmless, but partners need to openly discuss and agree beforehand on what they are comfortable doing.” “I was just astounded,” says Fremont mom Teri Topham. ” But school board members contend that 9 grade students have already been exposed to the contents of the book—and much, much more.

They argue that even relatively modern sex ed has even not begun to reckon with what kids are now exposed to in person and online.

The singer Rihanna, for example, has legions of young fans.

Her music video for the song “S&M”—viewed more than 57 million times on You Tube so far—shows the artist, pig-tied and writhing, cooing “chains and whips excite me.” It then cuts to her using a whip on men and women with mouths covered in duct tape.

But these numbers only tell a tiny snippet of the story. “Most of the time they don’t talk about contraception, they don’t talk about risk of pregnancy, STIs [sexually transmitted infections]—certainly not abortion.