That sense of impending doom that used to engulf me on the chairlift? My husband, on the other hand, still has the fearlessness of a 20-something and truly enjoys taking the kids skiing, diving and even surfing. That sense of I-can-accomplish-anything-I-set-my-mind-to mindset everyone enjoys in their 20s? Henry Ford was onto something when he said that those "who stop learning are old, whether at twenty or eighty." My husband wants to learn new things, whether it's how to cook leeks or use his new Go Pro. As my husband has transitioned into a new business, I've probably contributed more to household expenses than he has in recent years.

pros and cons of dating married men-78pros and cons of dating married men-78pros and cons of dating married men-65

Two years ago, I met a gentleman I shall henceforth call James, because his name was, well, James. It lasted a full 10 hours (we’d met up for coffee at 3 p.m.

on a Saturday), and we discussed everything from the rudeness inherent to chronic lateness to how we both hate the book KNOW.

There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife.

Now, before we all get our panties in a bunch, before I get labeled the heinous man-stealer, let me toss out a few more details: James’ wife was on the cusp of no longer being his wife. But to quote Olivia Newton John in her star turn in “Grease,” What I mean to say is that over the course of those 10 hours I couldn’t knock the feeling – despite all those red flags – that James and I might still be a good match. Which brings me to now, two years into our relationship. In this day and age, the briefest jaunt through Facebook reveals significant portions of who this woman is: What she looks like, what parts of herself she likes to advertise.

My husband, in his mid-40s, is at the pinnacle of his career.

He's recently launched a new business and is genuinely excited about the future.

They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.

They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.

My husband was a short-order cook in high school and has no problem doing almost all the cooking.