If they have even the slightest doubt about your intentions they will hold back.

So whatever you would normally do to indicate your interest to a confident man, double or triple it for a shy man (in proportion to his shyness): While I don't suggest that you overtly ask out a shy guy on an "official" date (this would too flagrantly undermine what he knows to be his role as described above), I do suggest that you suggest and then ask him to hang out under casual pretenses.

The reason for this is that shy men are more concerned with avoiding the social catastrophe of asking you out and failing than they are of getting you.

In general, you will need to carry the relationship up until the point that it is "official." When it has been established (or is otherwise clear) that the two of you are together, then you should start reducing your initiative and letting him take the reins.

As I said, he will probably start to do this on his own anyway, so rather than forcing it, just be cognizant of the transition.

The first thing to do when you find yourself attracted to a shy man is to question your feelings for him.

In other words, ask yourself "Am I attracted in spite of or because of his shyness? A very close friend of mine is extremely shy, and I know plenty of other guys that are shy. Shy guys, almost by definition, do not have the balls to initiate and pursue women.

You will probably get frustrated at his lack of response to your initiatives.

The biggest problem is that it won't be clear to you whether or not his unresponsiveness is a product of his shyness or his lack of interest in you - because it could be either one. His persistent willingness to hang out with you might be stem from a real interest, but it also might be a manifestation of his unfulfilled desire for female attention; he could just enjoy dabbling in the idea of a relationship but at the same time not like you enough to want anything serious with you.

(If nothing else, this will give you good insight into what it is like to be a man.) While all of this sounds like it might be too difficult to deal with - and many women will come to that conclusion - it is worth pointing out that if you can navigate through the difficult aspects of attracting and dating a shy man, he is likely to be completely faithful to you.

Due to the lack of female attention he has attracted or received, he is like an emotional spring that you will release.

" If you answer these questions sincerely and still want to date him, you then face the problem of making it happen - or rather, making him make it happen. They fall outside of the predator-prey model for sexual interactions that is assumed in the "don't initiate contact" rule.

So it is acceptable for you to initiate with a shy guy. The problem with male shyness is that it wears off in specific situations.

Once this happens, you will need to gradually assume a less assertive (more traditionally female) role, because he will then be more liable to get bored with you, wonder if he could do better, consider his other options (the perception of which his newly-found confidence will likely inflate), fool around, etc.