Don’t let someone use you as a sexual plaything or degrade you – you must have limits.

You cannot work your way up from booty call to girlfriend.

Likewise, if your relationship is all about the sex and you want more than this, opt out.

Don’t make it up as you go along either and come up with your own reasons for why you think they behave as they do. Respect your own boundaries, so that either others do, or you recognise when they don’t.

But do not make exceptions because you will keep lengthening your yardstick. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

This guideline also applies to when they you to make an exception to your normal rule of behaviour – someone who genuinely has your best interests at heart will not expect or demand that you do something outside of your normal behaviour. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

When I look back at my bad old days, there’re a number of things that stand out as emblematic of who I was – the fear of letting go of a bad relationship because I didn’t think I could do any better, being unable to relax and enjoy my time with one woman because I couldn’t stop looking for the shoe to drop… But there is one very specific night that, to my mind, was one of the most representative of how bad things were.

If they were interested, you wouldn’t still be chasing them!

This means no pursuing them after they have turned you down, been half hearted in their interest, shagged around on you, not bothered to call you, pit you against other women and certainly no chasing someone to convince them that they should be interested in you.

When a man is interested, you are in no doubt about their interest and they don’t run the risk of losing you.

You have to stop acting like every guy could be the one and like there’s a fire – there isn’t.

It’s not modern relationships and dating – it’s modern booty calls and half hearted interest.