However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact.

If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.3. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.

But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!

In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it.

Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex.

They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again.

No matter what his answer is, it's going to make things weird.

Besides, comparing yourself to anybody — even if you come out ahead — is going to lead to feeling crappy, because basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to someone else is Not Healthy.Trust that your dude is with you because he likes you and you're awesome, not because he's biding his time until your friend takes him back.Trust that your friend is happy you've found someone you dig, not plotting to sabotage your love.Set the precedent that people who are awful to your friends are people who don't get to see you naked, and your life will be the better because of it.RELATED: 22 Reasons to Stop Worrying About His Ex-Girlfriend17 Things I Wish I'd Known About Getting Over an Ex When I Was Younger11 Reasons Why He Broke Up With You Follow Lindsay on Twitter.Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.