Snell: The more deeply a man sacrifices the more deeply he loves.And non-committal affection requires no sacrifice, so of course there isn’t going to be any love.Men are also looking for women who are kind, positive, spiritual, and confident.

Snell: That it’s just going to happen; it is just going to be easy and natural without any work.

And that if they do have to work at it, there must be something wrong.

Sometimes they look at the prophet and his wife and think, “That’s the kind of marriage that I want,” but they don’t consider the process it takes to become that kind of couple—a lot of trial, change, and self-improvement.

What do you feel men and women in their 20s are looking for in a spouse? From there, men are really looking for a woman who makes them feel great, that’s what flirting is for.

Stevens: That happens a lot because people are afraid of being vulnerable and making the first move, as we talked about.

So they’re friends with people and then one day someone decides to make that type of move, but then they don’t follow it up with actual dates.

Dating in Your 20s This is part one of a four-part series, “Conscious Courtship,” in which we chat with professional matchmaker, Amy Stevens, and marriage and family therapist Alisa Snell.

In this post, we’ll examine the trials and tricks to dating as a 20-something in the LDS world.

Stevens: I think those in their 20s feels like they have so many options, so how would they ever choose one? People imagine this sea of singles within the LDS community, so there’s no urgency.

It seems like they can hold out and look for perfection.

Also, people often go from dating in groups as teenagers to being told, post-mission, that it’s time to find a spouse.