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Of course the point is not to gossip about exes or fixate on past relationships.But having a sense of the road one came from can make the one ahead far less bumpy.
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While this article is written within a heterosexist frame, many of these same concerns can apply to same sex relationships as well. While it’s wonderful that women can approach and ask out a man without waiting for him to do it, there is also a delicate balance in the relationship. The investment factor seamlessly leads to an even more important type of initiative.
You ask him any iteration of relationship check-up questions and he’s either unsure, needs more time, or tables the topic entirely.
It’s another to know one’s motivations, thoughts, and feelings.
Is he willing to truly open himself up and share his life story?
Many times in the heat of an argument one partner might throw out the “let’s end it now” card. At their most basic level, they involve setting your ego aside.
While it’s ultimately a power move, see your partner’s reaction. Apologies aren’t actually about who is right and who is wrong.Or they provide so many opinions that it starts to get confusing who to listen to while you are sorting out your own feelings.As such, it might be helpful to limit your advisors to a couple close friends or family members. But getting another pair of eyes on your relationship and its health can help.Or does his story eventually end up being deflected back to you?Does he avoid talking about family, friends and the things that describe his background?Dozens of text messages can be exchanged within a day expressing everything from the mundane “I’m having pizza for lunch” to the extremely personal “I’m scared of ending up alone.” While in some cases text messaging can add to or strengthen a pre-existing relationship, it can be easy to fall into the trap of assumed intimacy in new relationships. Although it may seem things are going great, stop and ask yourself, “but do I really know him?