If he’s not at least occasionally talking about the future with you then chances are, in his mind, you’re not in it.

I mean, sure, when you’re first dating, it’s interesting to hear about the places your guy has been and all of the fun times he’s had with his friends. If you start to feel that there’s something wrong with you, or you’re doing something wrong that’s causing him to pull away, and maybe if you just gave him more of the freedom he wants, and wait for him quietly, and…well, you get it. So if you see any of these warning signs, and especially if you see several of them, chances are that this is not a guy that’s looking for a real relationship right now – or at least not the kind you’re looking for.

dating not sure i love him-25

But if he’s still reminiscing about his single life escapades after your relationship has moved to the next level, or worse, making plans to have more of those escapades (without you), then the truth is he still wants to be single. Your best bet is to walk away gracefully, with your self-esteem intact, and not look back.

Rather than trying to get him to change or waiting for him to come around, try focusing on and why you’re in a relationship with someone like this.

When I look back at all the relationships that didn't work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that my guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was going to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for. Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while.

So, to spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what can be on the lookout for, here’s my list of the warning signs that I didn't heed. But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now.

In a healthy relationship there’s no hiding or secrets.

If he’s not being open and upfront about his whereabouts, then stop worrying about it – just move on.

It’s one thing to have the boys’ “Wednesday Poker Night”, or something along those lines, but if he’s only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody situation), then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping his options open and still scouring the market for something better (at least in his mind – he just doesn't realize that you’re the best thing going! If you find yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when you ask him something about himself he doesn't say much, it may be because he’s hiding something or doesn't want to get too close to you.

Many guys just aren't big talkers, but if he hasn't told you the details of where he works, where he grew up, went to school, etc., and if he gives you vague answers when you ask him about these specifics, then that means he’s keeping you at a distance.

If you find yourself in this type of relationship often, which many of us do, it’s time for some real soul searching to get to the root of it.

If you have access to good counseling, take advantage of it, as many times this is the only way to true healing.

There's the outside chance that he’s embarrassed by his family.