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I discreetly turned to see who made this statement and saw an average-looking, middleaged woman at the table behind me at Starbucks talking to a gal pal about dating.
I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.
However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).
Now, when I discuss the differences between European and American, I’m referring to a mindset. American men on the other hand, tend to be goal oriented, with the aim of getting laid.
You can very well be born in America but have a more “European” mindset and vice versa. Perhaps this ‘score mentality’ is for bragging rights, perhaps it’s for validation so they can feel wanted and desired, or perhaps it’s a pure ego play.
Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. This is definitely seen in how they treat not only women, but everyone around them.
The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect. There is a courtesy, consideration, chivalry and thoughtfulness in how they act, behave and engage with others.
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But if I seem to get a rash of flirts and comments accompanied by leers, I think I’ve dressed a bit more provocatively than optimal.
Sporting lots of cleavage, bare midriffs and leg are the fashion now.
I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.