He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her.As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly.Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need', 'You are all I need.' are common.

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In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioural traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. Often the domestic abuser will initially try to explain his/her behaviour as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviours become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.

At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love.

They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get them.

He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to.

As this behaviour gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room.

Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalise you for making the wrong ones.

Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.

Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together.

If we can recognise the warning signs of a domestic abuser, or someone who is likely to have an abusive personality, we can save ourselves (and our loved ones) a lot of grief and heartache.