Boyfriend joined online dating site
He said that he only looks at it to use the function where he can look through it and he can click on “yes” or “no” (i.e. He says that he always clicks on “no” even if they’re good looking.
He reassured me that he was not going on there to look for girls, but just to look at their pictures.
I also asked if anyone has contacted him on the website since he’s been going out with me and he said that a couple of girls have but he hasn’t replied to them (he also let me see the messages).
The thing is that it’s now really niggling at me and I feel like he’s broken my trust.
I feel like I’m in the “normal” (whatever that is) range of trusting partners, even though my last relationship of 9 years ended when he left me out of the blue for another girl (I know this is probably and subconsciously a fear of mine that this will happen again in a relationship, as it was such a shock).
This is a really tough one because where do you draw the line between normal and dangerous – especially as technology has made the line much more blurry.
In the past, we might actually look at contact adverts in the back of newspapers for a bit of fun imagining what it might be like to meet these people.
The other big difference is that our homes are much more porous than before. In the past, there was one phone and we knew who had called.
Now, your partner could be texting someone else in another room and you don’t know.
However, in the old days we would have to find a photo, write a letter, post it to a PO Box and wait for a reply.
It wasn’t very likely we were going to do all that unless we were interested in meeting that person.
I found this out after he started to write something in a search engine on his laptop when I was sitting next to him, which brought up his history in the search bar and I asked “do you still look at …(dating website)”.