I suggest you keep a sizeable alfajor stash under your pillow for these occasions. Imagine second grade with actual cooties (we call them STDs now).

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Therefore, it might be surprising to learn that more than half of Americans are currently single.

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Try not to be too offended when you catch him skulking in a corner, strumming a ukulele and composing sonnets in their honor.

Do feel alarmed the day you find him cutting and pasting pictures of his favorite players’ faces onto photos of you.

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You respond by saying you’ve read Cortázar and Borges, but when he asks you if you like any other Argentine writers, you make up a few Latin-sounding names before lamely admitting you don’t know any others.

“Hysteria” — a blanket term used by 19th-century medics to describe most women with any sort of spark beyond that of a domestic cactus — has somehow survived to modern-day Argentina.

He proceeded to ask you out no less than 150 times, your refusals to accept him only bolstering his resolve.

Finally, your defenses worn down, you conceded to go out for a drink with him.

As a result, they understand and appreciate those who want to balance the search for love with the demands of a rewarding work and home life.